Batsmen and Ash: Future Governators
by PumaMav Enterprises
Summary: Years after the original Batsmen: Eval Ded, Batman and Ash are back to fight an old enemy in this time-spanning adventure.


BATSMEN: EVAL DED - TXINATED  
  
BY MAVS AND DA PUMA  
  
(A PumaMav Enterprises Production)   
  
------------------------  
  
We're Back.  
  
This one is dedicated to the fans who have supported us over the years. The ones who realized our stories were incredibly lame and stupid, filled with  
  
large amounts of inappropriate language that doesn't make sense and more typos than you could shake an EvOL MONKEE DOOD at.  
  
Let the fun begin.  
  
I think we've sunk to new heights ;) (get it?)  
  
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Kinnsaer looksed at his watch, it be 9 PM! HOLY SHIOTS! HE WAS SPOST TO BE HOME AN HOUR AGO! (CUZ HE B A SLACKER (1 dae!) "I GOTSTA GO HOME! OH SHITS. MOMMY KILLS ME" HE SEZ.   
  
WEBSMOM waitsed by the doors for her lovely nonslazckers son. Shes was disappointesdf at hims, he never b3 late b4! she thot.  
  
---- ME3nWHILE!!! ACORSS TOWNS IN DARK ALLEY!)  
  
ELECTRICIYY!!!!! BOOOOOOOOM!!!!! HUGE BUBBLE!!!! MAGICALLYS APPEAR!!!@#$  
  
OH SHITS! DEN HUGS BUBBLW THINGS AND DEN EVIL BITCH STEPS OUT!  
  
"HELLOS EVERYONEAS I AM NAZI! AFTERAS A TSWISTED EXPERIMERTNS BY HITLER VERSION 2.0 IN DA YEAR 2034 I AMS HERE." T-X sez.  
  
"you ask what dat is? WELLS I TELL YOU! A Cyberdyne Systems model TXFFON. A sophisticated ass raping machine sent back through time. Human he/she flesh over a ceramic poly-alloy endoskeleton. SHE DEN REALIZE SHE IS NAKED AND FAT "HOLY SHITZ I KILLS THOSE AMERICAN SPECIOUS MOROSN! ESPCIALLY DA one who willz 1 days be WEBSLACKER.  
  
  
  
she den go to gay bar but da p3ople dat are gay dere don'ts know if she be man or woman cuz she/he so fuckin' ugly. BUT DEN SHe/he get it on with da uglsie rats in back. DEN SHE RAPE POOR PEPOPLE AND TAKE DERE CLOTHES! EEK! ((BUTS DA PEEPLE IN BACK STILLS DONT KNOW IF DEY WERES PENETRATED OR IF SHE/HE WAS!)  
  
--- ME3nWHILE!! ACORSS TOWNS IN DARK ALLEY!)  
  
batsmen and ash fiting eval badf guys and stf. den jorje carlins come and gives dem magik fone booth. he all like, "yous are exelent d00ds! shits, piss, fvckz, punt, coksukka, mammafuckaz, tits!"  
  
so batsmen and ash r all liek "omfg! its da carlins! wez worships da son and joe pepsi two! wat r u doing here?"  
  
so carlins sez "i am carlin. dat fucking txffon is going bak in tiem too killz you! so i come her to give yoo magic fone boot!"  
  
"thanks" sez batsmen and ash and dey goes bvack in tim.  
  
--- Da past!!  
  
batsmen ands ash appears! BUT DEY HAVE CLOTHES CUZ THEY ROCK!  
  
"WE MADES IT BATSMEN!" Ash sez.  
  
"Yes chums! we haves! nows we msut prot3ct da one knowns as KINNEARS b4 da bitch get him!"  
  
"whtys do wes have to protects him again batsmen?"  
  
"BECAUSE!"  
  
"buts he just be a SLACKER!"  
  
"I TOLDS YOU DA REASON B4!"  
  
"WHATEVER!"  
  
Dens FRODO WALKS IN AND SEZ "WHERE BE MY RING!"  
  
Batsmen ands Ash walks down da streets ands kills some Deadites dat are there, thens EVOL MONKEE D00D SHOWS UP!  
  
"HELOS GUYS!" MonKEee seez!  
  
"MONKEES D00DS! hows you know us? We be in da past!"  
  
"Cuz foos, I AGE BACKWARDS LIKES MERLIN. I'ms actually OLD EVOL MONKEE DOOD rights now."  
  
"OHs I SEE!"  
  
DENS TOM HANKS WALK IN AND SEZ, "OH SHITS I GOTSTA GETS ON PLANE. ANDS TRANSPORT COKE!"  
  
Dens batsmne and ash laff!  
  
"Wats so funnie?!" Tom Hanks sez.  
  
"oh yous going to crash on islands and den yuo becomes zombie leadsers bitch."  
  
"ohs. well gotsta go.. migsht miss my flight!"  
  
Dens Batsmen ands Ash ands Ev0l MonKEE Dood together go s3eaching fors kinnear!  
  
--  
  
Kinneasrs looks round streets, "$%(*#$(!! i don'ts remember hows to gets home! I hates me life! OH LOOKS DERE BE A PLANES! I SLEEP DERE TONIGHTS!  
  
HE GOES IN Asdns takes SLEEPINGS PILL! den he gos sleep in cages cuz dere be a bed in dere!! SMART MAN!  
  
but wahts kinnear deidnt know was dat hes actuallly ins a planes bout to take off! but hes snuck onboards a plane!! ands hes being smugglsed into america very easy!!  
  
BUTS DEN THE PILOT (RAGSUSAUCE) COME BACK ANDS SEES KINNEARS ASLEEP IN CAGE! HE CALL COPS!!   
  
Btus whats ragsusauce dont know is dat T-X IS MONITORESIDNG DA FREQUENCEEY!!!! OH SHIT!!  
  
DEN T-X SHOWZ UP AND TRIES TO KILLSZ RAGU!! BUT RAGSU THRWOS SPAGHETTI SACUE AT HER ANDS HE RUNS AWAY  
  
OH NO! Ragu and da kinnear r in da trubble! t-x iz cominh aftre dem. until he/she/it/watevr iz hit buy da cars! who is dirving da car? IT SPED RACER!!!!! he in da mok five! go sped racerez GO!!!  
  
---bak to da batsmen and ash  
  
"ash" sez batsmen. we needs help! so batsmen calls up alferd who is yung and stuff cuz dis be da past! he be a kewl mi-5 d00d and kick da shits out of people and stuff!  
  
"let's go alferd" dey say. "have some coff sirup!"  
  
"NO@!!!" alferd sez. "i dont drinks!"  
  
batsmen ahs and eval monkee d00d laff!  
  
"wat so funny"  
  
"oh nothings!"  
  
"batsmen, ash, dis is my boss: SPESHAL DIRECTER PIKACHU!!!"  
  
PIKACHUS BE BVACK LIEK A MUTHAFUCKA, BITCHES!!!  
  
da gang all be back togatha! so some kewl music plays and stuff and dey go looking for da futur webslaka and stuff  
  
dey here a voise "yous guys are probvlems! and wen problems cums along, we wipps zit!"  
  
oh nos! Devo is dere and attacks batsmen adn ash and all dem  
  
---TO BEZ CONTINYUD!  
  
OKIES NOT REALLY  
  
SO den devo be likle 'WIPP IT! wipz it gooood!' but dens Batmsen sez, "whens a stupisd ass comes alongs you mustz kills it!! KILLS IT GOOD!' den Devo dead.. Oops.  
  
So den Alfred sez, "wowzer boss!'  
  
So den they be offs to saves pre-webslackers again! as they walk threw the forest of despare dey see NAEMCIKAIN!   
  
'Hellos Jon!' sez Batsmen to Nameckian!  
  
'MY NAME BE TOM DAMN IT! I KILLS YOU FOO!' da confsued nameckain says!  
  
but dens Ash sez, EAT CHANESAW BIZ-NATCH!  
  
dens Name be like 'sorries. Whers you guys bes going?'  
  
'We're off to see the slackzer!' sez Ash.  
  
'da wonderful salckers of pumavmav land!' Pikachus sez!  
  
'DA WONDERUFL SLACKERS OF PUMAVMAV LAND?' Asks Name!  
  
'Yes he be da bigest slackzer in the whole world!'  
  
'yes he was supposts to makes a game but it be more delayed den that Duke Nukem!!' Ash sez. 'and that punk ass  
  
bitch be a rip off of me anyway!'  
  
So dey walsk down road holding hands!  
  
--- ME3nWHILE!! ACORSS TOWNS IN DARK ALLEY!)  
  
KINNAR GETS OUT OF PLANE AND BE LIKE 'THAT TX SUX0rs my j0x0r0rs.'  
  
'wha?' sez SPeedty Racer  
  
'Nothing.' Kin sez.  
  
DEN TX SHOW UP AGAIN! WITH BIG TIRE MARK IN HER/HIS/ITS HEAD!!  
  
'I GOT TIRE DAMAAAGE!@ You know what KINEAR!, your a badass, fucking specious, petty, irrational, stalking, pigfucking, fag who is what he seems and has inanely deluded himself into believing that women actually want his pimply, faggotyass. well, no one with good taste... EXCEPT FOR ME.'  
  
"what?' Kin sez!!  
  
'I LOVES YOU KINAR!' SEZ TXFFON!!  
  
'holsy shit.' sez Speedy. 'I PROTXCT YOU SLACKERS!'  
  
'whys you keep calings me sleacker?'  
  
'CUZ IT BE YOUR DESTINY.'  
  
Den Speed ypulls out ROCKET LAUNCHER OF DOOM, and blows TX a whoel in her/his face!! Den TX grabs Speedsy and snaps his throat!!   
  
BUT DEN SPEEDSY YELL BEFORE HE DIE 'I BE A ROBOT IN DISGUISE BITCH!' and he turn into OPTIMUS PRIME!  
  
'you specious ROBOT!' yell TX, 'I NAZIFY YOU.'  
  
Optimus Prime pull out BRICK OF DOOM and lob it at TX head!   
  
TX YELL "OW!"  
  
den kins run away! BUT SEE BATSMEN AND ASH COME! DEY BE LIKE 'YO' asnd Kin be likes 'WOW' and den Bats, Ash, Pika, Alfred and CRAZY MONKEE d00d PULL OUT ANTI-TX WEAPONRY.  
  
butt dey neds more bakupp, so dey call in dethinkernit or as dey sez DI! so di is all liek, "yo, bitch, i pwn3z and kills j00 and stuff wit my LINUX GUN!!!" so he den puls out da linux gun and aymz it and stuff! "tim to dy bitch!!!!" but, oh nos! DI shots himself in da foot. but its oky! "i can stil shots you!" so he den shoot TX but oh nos! he shot hisself in da odder hand! batsmen and asha dn pika and alferd and crazee monkee d00d who not yet eval all laff.  
  
dis is da big showdown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! holy shits!  
  
batsmen throw da batsrangy and ash shoots da broomstiks at TXFFON-UBAFOOL and he/she/it/whatsevah fals too grownd. "we's won!!!!!!!"  
  
"Not so fast, gentlemen. You may think that your victory is assured, but allow me to halt your premature celebration. For you see, over time I have developed a fascination--perhaps some might call it an infatuation--with your nemesis. Be warned, my newfound adversaries, that my vengeance will not be swift. Like a disease eating away at your insides, my wrath will be exacted upon you all until you have nothing to live for. Only then will I deliver the final blow--the coup de grace, so to speak. Only then, will you perish at my hand." dey all loks to see hoo talking and see dat it ZMAN!!!! den he take TX and steal carlins fone booth and go bak to da futur! liek marty mikfly abnd doc brwn!  
  
den a nuculer bomb comes and dey all die. all but batsmen and ash who go to a kayev and deys now reddy for sequel!! 


End file.
